Missing the Pump

Today an hour or so after lunch, I watched my blood sugar on my dexcom climb and climb to an unexpected 288. ugh.  I was completely caught off guard since I had eaten the same lunch I have 2 or 3 times a week and I had gone for a long run last night. Yes, I am still recovering from a cold but didnt think it was still affecting my numbers to that extreme. Then I began to think- " wait...did I take my insulin shot before lunch?!?!"

 I pretty much have a routine down at work of stopping by the bathroom before we walk across to the cafeteria for lunch so that I can check my blood sugar and take my symlin and insulin. As I thought back to a few hours ago, I was pretty sure I had gone to the bathroom before lunch and could picture myself administering myself my shots. But then I began to wonder if maybe that "memory" was really from yesterday when I had done the same exact thing....in the same exact bathroom....in front of the same bathroom sink.  I know it may sound crazy but because shots are so second nature to me now and I usually take them in the same places and times everyday (my kitchen, work bathroom, etc) - it all can begin to run together. It is like you get so usto doing something and it becomes such a habit that you almost forget if you went through those motions that day.

As I sat there wondering if I really had any fast acting insulin in my body to cover my usual lunch of salad, berries, and jello- I missed one of the many benefits that comes with wearing an insulin pump. Had I been wearing a pump, I would have been able to scroll through the pump or handheld device to see exactly how much bolus insulin I had delivered at lunch. Additionally, it would have told me how many carbs and basal insulin I had consumed that day. I miss this feature of the pump tremendously, especially on days like this. I have been back on MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) for almost a year a half and there are certainly lots of things I enjoy about being "pump-free".  But today, as I was stuck with the choice of either riding out my high blood sugar and hoping the "lunch bolus" would kick in or correcting my high by taking more insulin and risking a bad low sugar...I wished I was once again a pumper.

Another Great JDRF Walk....

Yesterday morning my I participated in my 4th JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes in Philadelphia. With each year that I fundraise and am involved with this great event, I continue to be overwhelmed by people's generosity and kindness. I can barely put into words how much it means to me that year after year, my family and friends continue to contribute and support this very special cause.

 My wonderful family was with me walking yesterday, as well as many of my co-workers and thousands of others that are touched by Type 1 Diabetes. As I looked at the swarms of people yesterday morning, I was again reminded that despite how I may feel sometimes, I really am not "alone" with my fight against diabetes. There are thousands of other people out there- families, kids, companies, etc. that understand the importance of raising awareness and continuing to fight for a cure.

My family had a new “walker” this year, my 6 month old niece. As I watched her sleep in her stroller with my 2 ½ year old nephew running alongside of us down the parkway, I realized that I walk each year not only for all of us that are currently affected by Type 1 Diabetes but also just as much for all the future generations. I realized that I walk for my beautiful, healthy niece and nephew and the millions of other children out there to help eliminate the chance that diabetes could ever touch their innocent lives.

So thank you again to the all that have supported one of the many JDRF walks that will be occurring across the country over the next few weeks. I also want to send a special thank you to the staff and volunteers of the JDRF, especially my dear friend Colleen, who devote endless time and energy to making a difference for those affected by Juvenile Diabetes. I hope you know how much your work means to others and how much hope you give to us as we keep fighting for a cure. Thank you!

A little more about me....

So I thought I would share a little more about me in this next blog post. As I mentioned before I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes coming up on 4 years ago when I was 23....(so yes I am 27). It came as a complete shock to me and my family. I was lucky enough to be living with my mom and near the rest of my family at the time so was able to lean on them to help me through the changes and adjustments that came with my diagnosis. My mom was with me every step of the way and am not sure how I would have gotten through it without her. From those initial tears and insulin shots, to my middle of the night lows and doctor appointments, she was my rock.  She really gets what it is like to live with Type 1 Diabetes because she was with me through it all, and for this I am very blessed.

Four years later, I am living on my own in Conshohocken PA. (a suburb of Philadelphia). I am proud to be working in finance at a health care company that I have been with since I graduated from Bucknell and I work with some really great people.  I have a niece and a nephew that I love and adore more than I ever thought possible and am so grateful to have them and my sister living near by so I can spend time with them often.  I have a wonderful boyfriend who puts up my moodiness (only some of which I can blame on my blood sugars) and great girlfriends that mean the world to me.  I enjoy working out and running because it helps me relieve stress and manage my blood sugars and because I feel physically at my best after I finish exercising. I love eating out (although I know that doesnt help my blood sugars) and am completely addicted to peanut butter and diet coke. My alcoholic drink of choice is white wine (although its usually a wine spritzer since Im such a light weight) and I love greys anatomy and project runway. I enjoy spending time at the beach in the summer and hope to be a mother one day and follow the great examples I see in my mom and my sister.

Speaking of my sister, I got an email from her as I was typing up this blog during the Phillies game last night. She told me she had posted something on her blog about my diabetes and Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation walk we will be walking in on Sunday. I immediately went to her blog and was brought to tears by her kind words of love and support. My amazing sister has supported me over the years in so many ways. She is always there with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on and is usually the first of my family and friends to sign up for the JDRF walk each year despite being one of the busiest people I know. It is the special people in your life like this that get you through no matter what life throws at you. I love you Heather!!

You can check out her blog here...
http://foodconsidered.blogspot.com/2010/10/juvenile-diabetes.html

Ok- Here it goes......

So I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while. It started as I began reading blogs about diabetes. As a Type 1 diabetic for coming up on 4 years, I find comfort in reading about how others manage the disease and to know that they feel the same range of emotions that I do as I try to manage this disease everyday.
My sister started a blog a week or so ago and it was the final "sign" that I should just do it. So here I am...playing with templates and fonts and starting a blog. Sure- it seems a little bit self-centered...to have a web page all about me for me to write about my life and thinking that people may actually read it. But lots of people do it and lots of people read them, so I will give it a shot.

Maybe it will be an outlet for me to deal with everyday stress and worry...maybe it will be a way for me to connect with my family and friends....and maybe if I decide to focus on blogging about my diabetes...it will make others with Type 1 Diabetes know that they aren't alone. It will let them know that yes its not always easy and yes its OK to be frustrated at times....but we need to always remember how truly blessed we are to have a condition we do have control over (for the most part) and how lucky we are to have wonderful family and friends to remind us there that there is so so much more to life than our diabetes.

The courage quote on the top of my blog is one of my favorite quotes and ever since I was diagnosed with diabetes it has become a sort of a motto for me. My mom bought me a necklace with the word "courage" on it a few years ago and every time I wear it, it reminds me of not only her never ending support but of this quote. It reminds me that no matter how defeated or down I may feel with my diabetes or anything else going on, tomorrow is another day and the simple act of getting up and trying again tomorrow shows strength and courage. I really believe that all of us in one way or another-whether it is through battling an illness, losing loved one, overcoming adversity, etc. show tremendous resilience and courage everyday.

So we will see where this journey takes me....stay tuned as continue to blog! :)