Thursday, April 14, 2011

If I Could Have One Day Off From Diabetes.......

I would leave the house without checking my blood sugar or eating breakfast just for the liberating feeling that I can race out the door without thinking of ratios, the dawn phenomena, carbs or boluses.Once at work I would go to cafeteria for breakfast and get pancakes with syrup. Real syrup on real pancakes- and I would indulge in a breakfast that I have hidden away from for years due to the high sugar content.  I would attend all my meetings at work with only a notepad and a pen- no diabetes bag or CGM and wouldn’t have to worry about having an unpredictable low during an important meeting or event.
I would maybe have a mid morning coffee since I wouldn’t need to bolus for the what I call the "caffeine effect" and would be able to meet my co-workers in the cafeteria for lunch without stopping off to check my sugar and take my shots. For lunch I would take the plunge and get a sandwich despite not knowing exactly what kind of bread it was and how many carbohydrates that means.  If something came up and I wanted to save the rest of my sandwich for later, it wouldn’t be a big deal, I wouldn’t have any insulin on board waiting for that other half.
After work I would go out for a long run and maybe even a bike ride too without having to eat a snack first and I wouldn’t once worry about how blood sugar was doing. I would instead be able to totally focus on my workout and enjoying my “me/stress-free” time. I wouldn’t stop to check my CGM or blood sugar and would only turn around to head back home because I felt like it. I wouldn’t head home because I only had a half an apple before my run or because I felt my sugar dropping. I would stop my workout on my terms- when I felt as though I had gotten in a full good workout.
I would shower and get dressed happy to be getting ready without worrying about concealing the CGM device I typically wear and hide under shirts and dresses.  I would borrow back one of the small clutches or wristlets I have passed on to my sister since they don’t fit all of my diabetes stuff and go out for dinner and drinks with only a small bag that would not include a meter, strips, needles, granola bars, and glucose tabs. I would order a sugary strawberry daiquiri or cosmo instead of my typical white wine and if it took a while to get a table I would know I wouldn’t need to pop a few glucose tabs to hold me over. At dinner I would order whatever I wanted- again not worrying about carbs, how fat content would affect my insulin dosing, or hidden sugars. I wouldn’t need to hide blood sugar testing under the table or take my shots discreetly and I would maybe even order my very own dessert.
9:30PM would come and go without my nightly long acting insulin dose and I would get ready for bed without checking my blood sugar. I wouldn’t need to make sure my meter and all necessary supplies were on my nightstand within easy reach and I would sleep better than I have slept in years knowing that my blood sugar would be stable despite my exercise that day, food/alcohol intake or hormone fluctuations throughout the night. I wouldn’t be woken up in the middle of the night by feelings of shakiness or sweats associated with a low or by a beeping CGM device.  I would wake up after a restful night sleep and realize my one day off from diabetes was over. No more pancakes, worry-free workouts and clutches for me. I would get out of bed, walk downstairs to find my meter, and I would check my blood sugar.

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